Chaos

We had our monthly Family Dinner last night with 99% of our family present. That meant that David, Judea, Max and Alex were present. It helped me realize I made the right decision to be DINKy. David, Judea and Alex (15 mos) arrived (Max, 7, was already here). Max, always one for the spotlight, took over and showed us all how much he loved his little brother, to Alex's chagrin. "Love" meant hugging, grabbing, pulling, squashing and annoying.

I have to give my brother a lot of credit as he learned how to tune out the chaos. Me, I was but five steps away from grabbing the Ativan out of my purse and knocking a couple back. I restrained, but it was a challenge. I wonder if maybe parents develop their own benzodiazepines, much like a runner develops a "runner's high", I think parents must excrete their own benzodiazepines, helping them deal with the constant cacophony.

I asked him if he ever got quiet time, and the answer was "no". I sat in stunned silence. As the kids "played", screamed, cried, gurgled, and cooed. I thought to myself one thing: as the runner gets his natural high from running, and parents excrete their own natural benzodiazepines, I simply had to be in the room to have my own, natural birth-control.