American Drag

Here's the real American Drag (not John's band), there is a law of diminishing returns when it comes to age and cool. The older you are, the less likely it it that you'll ever be cool. There are exceptions, but they come in the form of rock legends and actors. Mick Jagger will still be cool when he's 80, KC from the Sunshine Band will not.

Tonight, John's band, The American Drag played at the Red Devil Lounge. They hit at 11:30--p.m. So for those of us no longer 20--that's late. I had a choice, stay in or nap. I chose nap. Yep, a good old-fashioned nap; well, maybe a little more than a nap - I slept for about 2 hours, got up, tossed on my favorite biker bar T-shirt, jeans and cowboy boots and sped (yes, sped) into the city.

Red Devil Lounge is on Polk, so no easy parking. I did what any good bridge 'n tunneler would do, I circled the block then found the nearest garage. It had been way too long since I had lived in the city to know the "secret spots" or the "cool spots". The secret spots are where you're sure to find parking and the cool spots are where it's cool to park, but most people don't know it. Also, when you're no longer 20, you figure, what the hell, it's only $10 bucks for parking. I don't need to drive around for a half hour as a matter of pride to find that last parking spot. No siree-bob - pay the man and walk half a block.

I won't go into the details of the show - it was great. It was the after show that was really meaningful. I exited the club (got kicked out actually) at 1:30 a.m. and headed down the block to my garage (it's mine now). As I was walking down Polk the aroma of freshly cooked donuts wafted my way. I was still energized from my nap and socializing, and if the line hadn't gone out the door and past the shop, I would have grabbed a couple of donuts. Instead I drove home. But as I was driving up our street, the thought crossed my mind - Donuts. I was like Homer Simpson. Donuts. Donuts, donuts, donuts! Damn it! I needed a f-ing donut. Thankfully, there's a 24-hour shop down on Lakeshore. So as I drove up. low and behold a parking place was empty. The place was full and as I stood in line (short -line) the counter dude pulled out a tray of freshly fried holes. (this is where sound effects would come in handy). The sound of angels were heard from above - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - warm, fresh donut holes. I paid for my donuts and raced home. I poured them onto a plate and popped one of those warm little gems in my mouth. I have to imagine that this is what heroine might feel like - the warmth spread over my body and the sugar entered my blood stream. the taste of that little morsel was heavenly. I wanted more.

Luckily for me, I'm not in my 20's any more, so the late nights are few and far between. That's a good thing, because as you get older, your body's ability to metabolize donuts is directly proportionate to your cool factor. That--is The American Drag.