Middle America

I admit I'm a snob. It isn't that I think I am better than anyone, but I do believe that my taste level is a more elevated than the average Joe. So it should be no surprise that my expectations were low for the wedding we were invited to attend in Hendersonville, TN.

To be fair, my husband's friend has been out of work since the floods decimated an area/entire mall, homes, etc, in the Nashville area. My expectations were low but they were met.

The location along the Cumberland river was beautiful, ducks and geese waddled by, nibbling grass as the attendees gathered on the lawn.



Soon we were seated, awaiting the nuptials in 94 degree summer heat. Of course there were some people who simply threw caution to the wind, fashion be damned, and they wore shorts and sneakers-for a Saturday wedding (yes, call me a snob, but, really, shorts? Sneakers?)

I did my best to be a good girl, and try hard to not let my snobbishness show. I smiled and nodded politely. I grinned when the response from the local prison guard to the question, "what do you like to do for fun?" was met with a big, Beevis and Butthead gummy grin, followed by the response, "nuthin."

I waited politely for the crowd to step away from the trough- uh, table, before helping myself to drippy BBQ chicken wings and cheese cubes. (again, in all fairness and deference to the couple, the BBQ was delicious.)



But the hardest part was the poorly coifed DJ (bleached blonde bangs, with pitch black long hair, pulled back in a high pony tail) played the worst of all wedding music, a veritable smorgasbord of group dance numbers: the electric slide, the hokie pokie, the chicken dance, the Cuban slide...I tried to be a good sport, but no amount of prodding could get me on the dance floor for the macarena.

So, as dusk began to fall, and the temperature dropped down to 90, we pulled our sweat soalked bodies off of the chairs and headed back to our hotel. My husband did his best-friend duty as the best man and I did my wifely duty and smiled politely. And for all the other snobs out there, two little words to avoid-cheese cubes.


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Location:Nashville